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Literature Text
With a single look,
You took my breath away.
A simple thought of you,
And my sanity went astray.
A touch by your hand
Frazzled my mind into disarray.
Glints of kindness,
Flashed across your eyes.
Not one word that rolled off your tongue,
Showed any hint of lies.
Though I was blind,
For a problem would arise.
Polka-dotted skin,
From head to toe.
Tantalizingly soft,
Which brought on my woe:
The realization of the possibility
Being slim to no;
I simply hoped it would all pan out,
Though there was never a chance of our being one.
But now it's all over,
All said and done.
Thank you for your time,
My short term loved one.
You took my breath away.
A simple thought of you,
And my sanity went astray.
A touch by your hand
Frazzled my mind into disarray.
Glints of kindness,
Flashed across your eyes.
Not one word that rolled off your tongue,
Showed any hint of lies.
Though I was blind,
For a problem would arise.
Polka-dotted skin,
From head to toe.
Tantalizingly soft,
Which brought on my woe:
The realization of the possibility
Being slim to no;
I simply hoped it would all pan out,
Though there was never a chance of our being one.
But now it's all over,
All said and done.
Thank you for your time,
My short term loved one.
© 2013 - 2024 Tigedelic-Emma
Comments8
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactI really, really love the format of this poem. The text fits, it's like splattered blood on a heart's pain. And it can be related to by many. It is something most go through, a love seemingly so real and possible in this world, it makes me think of a lusty kind of love, one that doesn't last and every brings eternal happiness. I like the description of how this short term love person's appeared, like for sure they were who they weren't, true, kind, and the Not One Word That Rolled Off Your Tongue ,
Showed Any Hint Of Lies
I like how you wrote it.
The only thing holding me back from giving it a full five stars is that it seems to end right in the middle of a story, unless that is what you intended to do. What about moving on? What effects can a short term love have? I'd like to see more description on feelings, something I've seen in most poems I've read.
Again this is well written and I enjoyed reading it but I believe it can go further and be emphasized at a deeper level.
I hope this helped and keep up the good work <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="
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